Chapter 13: Methods of Discovery

Pick one other concept in the book that you feel needs further discussion? (You can choose from ANY chapter in the book).

Telecommuting in my opinion needs further discussion because we are an ever changing world we are moving towards technology and it makes sense that people should be able to work from their home, their hotel room, or even in their chair at the beach. Not that we can't already do this; I just feel that the mention of the distance that it creates in families isn't as negative as our text makes it out to be. I have many friends who work from home and feel free to wear what they want and not spend large amounts of money of work clothes, and they do not have to pay for daycare, unless they want to.

Chapter 13: Methods of Discovery

· What concept/s in this class have you found most interesting? What was it about that concept/s that you found interesting.

I would have to say that I enjoyed all of chapter twelve because it was about Intercultural Communication and how we interact, define, and communicate with other cultures. I especially like the term collectivism and how it brings cultures together and their shared identity is more important than their personal identity. We Americans are what is called an indivualistic culture, where we value ourselfes, our decisions, and our own opinions and can care less about others. I would like to think that over time this will change and we will become a more loving and caring people.

I found these two concepts so interesting because I think that if people started caring about their neighbors, co-workers, or strangers more we wouldn't be such a failing country. I feel that we are always extending our hand as a country to help those in need, but is it ever our true American hand, or just the idea of the American Red Cross, The Peace Corps, or any other agency that steps in when catastrophe hits? Why can't we show our fellow country men and women that same courtesy, right here at home, on a daily basis? I think that America would be a better place if we were to be less individualistic and a little more collective.

Chapter 13: Methods of Discovery

· (Regarding Chapter 13) Which of the research methods listed in Table 13.3 seem the most interesting? Assume you want to study some aspect of deception. Frame a research question. Which method would you choose to answer the question. Why?

In Table 13.3 Ethnography seems the most interesting because I would get to be a part of a culture and experience their daily norms, values, and traditions. I am not sure whether I would want to do my research covertly or overtly because I believe both have positive and negative aspects. By choosing to take an overt role I would be disguising myself so that noone would know that I was conducting research which is good because no one would be acting any other way other than they usually do. However, I would be lying to people and this would probably make me feel horrible, so, if I choose to take an overt role and conduct my research, I would enter the field as a scientist and everyone would know that I was observing them and their culture for the purpose of research and study. This could pose a problem because people may not act themselves if they know I am observing them and taking notes, but I would feel better about my research and the subjects and their culture that I am studying because I was being honest.

As, for studying deception my research question would be: Is watching porn considered cheating? I would use choose Survey Research to answer this question because I think that people would answer truthfully on a survey rather than face-to-face questions.

Chapter 11: Communication and the Mass Media

· Do you agree with Marshall McLuhan that the medium is the message, i.e. that the format or logic of a medium is as important as its content and, in fact, determines what content will be broadcast through that channel? Evaluate his idea that television is a cool medium.

I agree somewhat with Marshall McLauhan that medium is the message because there are different messages sent with different mediums. Take for instance the radio, it could be music, news reports, or interviews and all of these messages affect the way we experience the world.

However, McLauhan states that print media transmit information in an orderly sequence; I disagree with this notion because print media is not all orderly. Take for instance magazines that bombard you with many different ads on a single page, added with vivid colors, and eye popping photos; how can this be idea after idea, or orderly?.

In addition, I disagree when McLuhan states that print media encourage rationality and individuality. How could that be possible when all media have ulterior motives and have already decided what they want us to think, feel, and act like? In media culture, in is hard to think rationally and distinguish between fiction and reality. When a person repeatedly sees in print media a certain body image, car they should drive, or clothes that are popular, they will feel pressure to follow the message. Some don’t, but the majority of people do!

I find McLuhan’s idea that television is a cool medium very interesting because it does leave a lot for the viewer to fill in as they see fit. Television leaves much to our imaginations and therefore much room for filling in the gaps. Television as a cool medium can be compared to a cartoon that also leaves much room for interpretation. Both television and cartoons do leave a lot of room for different interpretations and encoding.

Have a great weekend:)

Chapter 11:Communication and the Mass Media

· Have you made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace? If so, how are they different from f2f relationships? If you have not formed cyber relationships, why not?
No, I have never made friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace, not because I wouldn’t; I just haven’t. I guess when I stop and think about why I haven’t, I would have to say it’s because I never really thought about it. I have so many friends already and not to mention my family and co-workers, but I also think I don’t have much extra time to venture into making friends exclusively in cyberspace, but I am not saying it wouldn’t be fun to meet someone from a different country and culture because it would be a great experience.
However, I do feel that there is a lot of misinformation that could be presented on cyberspace because you can be whoever you want to be, have any occupation, and say you look like what ever you want to. Someone could even post a picture that isn’t of them. I am not saying that there aren’t true honest folks out there; I am saying it’s just a little scary.

Happy Blogging:)

Chapter 11:Communication and the Mass Media

· Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I especially liked how our text pointed out how "Politicians have a love-hate relationship with the media. Quick to criticize media coverage if it is negative, they also are quick to seize the limelight." (pg. 297)

It is interesting how we viewers suck up messages sent to us via mass media, but rarely stop and think about how much filtering is done before the final draft is sent to us. What if we got to see both sides of this love-hate relationship that Politicians have with the media. What do you think that would look like? Would it be more like a reality television show? Or do we have expectations of what we think certain prominent figures should look like? I pondered this thought for a long while and came to the conclusion that we humans filter what we don't want people to know or see about us everyday in our friendships, relationships, and work environment. The media is just another avenue of expression, but with a much wider reach. Would you agree?

So, are we any different than Politicians and their love-hate relationship with the media when we do our own filtering of what we want to be visible and we want invisible?

Chapter 8: Organizational Communication

· Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

Network Roles were super intersting to read because I immediately started to think of all my co-workers and what role they would fit in. I began assessing my co-workers and myself and was able to put my co-workers in roles that I thought suited them and I even picked a role for myself. Even more intersting is when I began to think of the roles that my co-workers would place themselves in and me.

I am definitely the Boundary spanner or cosmolite in my company because even though I work for Plumas Crisis Intervention and Resource Center I run their Indian Valley Resource Center in Greenville all by myself and I do have contact with many individuals outside of our organization who bring valuable information to our organization.

Intersting stuff to think about:)

Have a great week!

Chapter 8: Organizational Communication

· Review the etiquette rules suggested in the text. Respond to each one. Have you ever been bothered by cell phone, answering machines, or beepers? What do you feel about call waiting? Is it rude to put people on hold to take another call?

Cellular phones: I completely agree with this etiquette rule because it is not polite, considerate, or respectful to intrude on someone else's privacy or intimate time by answering your cell phone in a class, a restaurant, or movie.

Answering machines: I don't really agree with this etiquette rule because I do feel that it is a convenience to its owner and I do not feel pressured to think about the message I leave on my machine to please others. Also, I think that people who leave me messages most always know me in one way or another and I love listening to the funny, intersesting, and sometimes vague messages that are left because I know how to encode them. I especially like it when a friend leaves a message that I understand, but anyone else probably wouldn't because we know eachother and many times we have sayings, phrases, or jokes that we get because of the nature of our friendship.

Conference calls: This one is interesting because I have never been in on a conference call, but do agree with the etiquette rules stated in our text. That would be horribly rude to hear a sarcastic remark from someone who doesn't think others can hear, not mention the embarrassment they might feel if they were notified of their behavior. Not to mention to the repercussions it could have on the company they represent and their job with that company.

Faxes: I never really considered this rule and how it suggests calling ahead to ask if it is okay to fax at a certain time. However, I admit that you can never be too considerate.

Timing Your Communications: This is a good! Totally agree with it and yet I have done it so many times. I will be more aware of my timing and how dangerous it can be to call someone when they are driving. It will also help me to filter out what can wait and what is an emergency and can't wait.

Screen names and Ring Tones: LOL :) When I was younger I thought of so many funny screen names, but they surely wouldn't be appropiate for everyone or for work purposes. And the ring tone is funny too! I kind of flip flop on this one because when I hear someone else's phone go off and a specific song comes on it in a very small way lets me know something about them and the kind of music they like. Or how that song has some significance with the caller. But I can see how certain lyrics would be inappropiate in certain arenas.

And yes, I have been bothered by cell phones when I am at the movies. It is so annoying! I can understand if it is an emergency, but in my experiences it hasn't been.

Call waiting is cool and is essential to me because I have kids, family, and friends who may have an emergency and can still get through even when I am on the phone. Also, I do the Crisis Line in Plumas County and I can still allow myself, fiance, and kids to use the phone and still take a crisis call if the beep in on the other line. The deciding factors for me when putting someone on hold are first what is the importance of my current conversation, do I feel like answering the other line, and could it be an emergency. It would be rude to put people on hold if the other person thought it was rude and I hope they would tell me. Maybe I am being presumptious, but that's the way I am:)

Chapter 8: Organizational Communication

· How are organizations tied to the environment? What is the relationship between the school you attend and the city or town in which it is situated? What, if any, ethical obligations does an organization like a college or university have to the local community

Organizations are tied to the environment in that they are dependent on a healthy respect and relationship with eachother. However, many of us know that this doesn't always happen.

The relationship between the school I attend and the city or town in which it is situated is in my opinion a reciprical one. SJSU brings tons of business to the city through housing needs, shopping, and food. Unfortunately, it also creates a lot of congested traffic and lack of parking for residents and students alike. In addition, the business SJSU brings may create pressure for the city and the residents living in the surrounding area. It can be positive and it can also be negative, depending on who you ask. Another issue that may arise is litter, loud parties, and a negative impact on the environment. I would think that residents who live in and around a college expect certain things that go along with college life, but they may also have expectations of the individuals to maintain and upkeep their neighborhood.

The ethical obligations that a college or university should have towards a community are, but not limited to, respect for others that share the same space, inclusion to meetings, notification of expansions of the college or any decisions that will be made on structures, ask for input about what communities think about the college and their organization, notice and invites to concerts and sporting events, a consideration of the community and its resources, and an over all good relationship with its neighbors.

Happy Blogging:)

Chapter 6: Interpersonal Communication

*Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I found the pattern of spirals as a dysfunctional pattern to be very interesting. I have an experience that is very personal, but I feel comfortable sharing it.
I was married at age 19 to a man who was ten years older than me. We had our first child when I was 20 and a second when I was 22. I thought we had a good marriage with all of the usual things that go along with relationships. We had our disagreements, disappointments, and fights, but I felt that we were both willing to work through them by communicating with one another.
A few years had gone by and we began to fight about little things and then I began to question my husband’s late nights at work. I suspected he was having an affair, but didn’t want to assume. When I did ask him he would become very upset and tell me that he was working extra hours so that we could save money and couldn’t believe that I was thinking he was having an affair. I would then feel like a huge ass for thinking such horrible things. I really beat myself up about it.
Well, these conversations continued for many months and caused much heartache, distance, distrust, and confusion for me. I didn’t know what to think, feel, or believe. My gut feeling was telling me that he was having an affair, but he adamantly denied it every time. I felt like I was going crazy and loosing my mind! My husband’s actions ~ nonverbal behavior did not match his verbal denials of an affair. I would go back and forth about my feelings of punishing myself for accusing him, but my inner voice was telling me that something wasn’t right.
Sadly, on a cold November day when I was at home I got a phone call from a girl named Lisa telling me that she was a good Christian and could not bear to continue this affair with my husband. I was devastated, horrified, angry, and hurt. I called my husband at work and asked that he please come home so we could talk. He did and I confronted him about what I had just heard and he denied the entire thing. So, I called this girl and asked her to come over to my house so that we talk and didn’t tell my husband that she would be there when he got home from work. (I had my sister come and get the kids). He then admitted the affair and we all talked. Just thinking about this is exhausting! My husband and I separated six months later and have co-parented our children. We have become good friends and have beyond our past. It wasn’t easy!
So, my question is: Did I cause my husband to cheat by accusing him of having an affair? Was I driving him away from me as suggested in our text? Is this an example of regressive spiral or interpersonal self-fulfilling prophecy? Or did my husband choose to have an affair regardless of my gut feelings and my question?

Chapter 6: Interpersonal Communication

*Think about the filters you use to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners. What characteristics or behaviors lead you to judge others as unattractive? Does Duck's theory make sense to you? Have you ever eliminated someone by using a sociological or pre-interaction cue only to reconsider them based on interaction and cognitive cues?

The filters I have used to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners sociological or incidental cues, physical proximity, preinteraction cues, interaction cues, and cognitive cues. Yup, I have used them allJ
The characteristics or behaviors that lead me to judge others as unattractive are awkward and difficult conversations, little feedback in a conversation, lack of confidence, little to no sense of humor, nonverbal behavior that I encode as negative, and bad hygiene.

Yes, Duck’s theory makes sense to me because whether we know it or not, on some level we do have an idea of the kind of partner we would like and we do go through a process to see who might be a possible date and who will be just a friend, and sometimes who we hope to never see again.
Yes, I have eliminated someone by using the pre-interaction cue, but not the sociological cue. I place a high emphasis on nonverbal messages and most times they do all the talking needed.

Happy BloggingJ

Chapter 6: Interpersonal Communication

1. Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?

In these rigid role relationships, I think submissive symmetry would be the most difficult to change because when two parties struggle to relinquish control they make statements or propositions that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth. Each partner doesn’t want o make decisions or be in control, but is trying to force the other partner to make a decision and be in control.

However, I think competitive symmetry would be the most damaging to a relationship because partners are always struggling to out do and have a one-up position on the other partner. This is not healthy because it does create room to be you, but creates an environment of constant competition. Eventually, one partner, or both, could begin to resent the other partner for feeling pushed to perfection.

I also think that competitive symmetry would be the most potentially damaging to self- esteem of the individuals involved because thoughts may begin to enter a partners mind that they are never good enough. More importantly, one may begin to think that they will never be loved, respected, or accepted for not wanting to compete to be the top dog.

Week 9: Chapter 12, Intercultural Communication

● Pick one concept from the assigned readings that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I particularly like the concept of intercultural identity and how it can enhance one’s awareness of other cultures. I have never lived outside of the United States, but have had many opportunities to become familiar with other cultures and the rules that guide them.
A particular example comes to mind when I think about stepping outside of my norms and traditions and being open to another’s way of life. My neighbors are from Jordan and Palestine and had just moved to San Jose and introduced themselves to me in broken English and invited me over for tea. I was so happy to have such nice neighbors and was completely interested in getting to know my new friends. Over time we became very good friends and on many occasions I was treated to home made dinners and desserts.
We worked through our communication barriers and talked openly about our cultural difference and similarities. We even laughed about the ways in which I violated their traditional rules. I was welcomed into their family and they were welcomed into mine. I feel so lucky to have had a chance to somewhat experience a culture very different than my own and feel that I can only grow from such an experience.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 9: Chapter 12, Intercultural Communication

● Do you believe in the rationality, perfectibility, and mutability premises? What social institutions and practices are based on these beliefs?

This is a tricky question because yes I do believe that everyone possesses the capability to discover the truth through logical analysis, however, not everyone uses the best judgment when called upon to make a decision. Take for instance our judicial system that makes a rape victim defend themselves as if they were the guilty party. (And yes, there are the few instances where a person cries rape and it is proven that it wasn’t rape.) Another example is how corrupt some police officers are like when they beat Rodney King and were acquitted a year later.

The perfectibility premise is completely absurd and based on religious beliefs that state that humans are born in sin and can achieve goodness through effort and control. I guess if you hold these values than you would agree, but for me I do not believe humans are born in sin. The institutions that uphold this belief would be Catholic and Christian churches, and individuals who personally hold this value in their culture.

The mutability premise is one I do believe in and have spent many years working in the Social Service sector to enable all human beings to improve their lives and circumstances. Public schools are also based on these beliefs and allow anyone to get a free education for their children; however, there are flaws because many public schools in poor neighborhoods do not get the same funding as wealthy neighborhood public schools.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 9: Chapter 12, Intercultural Communication

● Do you agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict that we are “creatures of our culture” and that our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture? If so, how can we break through the limits of our cultures?

I do believe that to a certain degree we are creatures of our culture because as babies and young children are thoughts, habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are socially created for us by our parents, guardians, grandparents, or whoever raises us.

However, I do believe we can break through the limits of our cultures because I did. I was raised to think one way, act a certain way, dress a certain way, talk a certain way, and to view the world in a very specific way. By opening my eyes and seeing through different lenses the different cultures and venturing out of my family circle I began to explore new ideas and gained such a respect for other cultures that were different than my own belief system. Another way to break through the limits of our cultures in through education.

I must admit it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, but it was the best thing I ever did.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 7: Chapter 5, Encoding Messages: Nonverbal Communication

~Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.
I especially like the concept that Desmond Morris addressed about dress as it pertains to nonverbal communication and how dress serves three major functions. I am most interested in the function of cultural display and how we as individuals will go to great lengths to dress a certain way to show belonging to a specific group or class.
What comes to my mind when I consider dress as a way to identify with a certain group or class is how sad it is for teenagers in school who try very hard to adjust to being a teenager (which in itself is tough) and then they want to fit in and be liked by their peers at school. One of the ways in which they achieve acceptance is by the clothes they wear. Unfortunately, we all know how expensive name brand clothes are and how many families cannot afford to buy their children name brand clothes. I have seen and heard the cruelty of teenagers towards one another when other teenagers does not wear name brand clothes and how they are given labels and most importantly, they are not accepted. It is so hurtful and damaging to these kids who feel rejected and made fun of:(
My hope is that we as a whole will learn to accept people for who they are and not because of the way we dress.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 7: Chapter 5, Encoding Messages: Nonverbal Communication

~Although nonverbal messages are more universal than verbal messages, nonverbals do not always carry the same meanings in other cultures. Can you give examples of some of the nonverbal displays that take on different meanings in other countries? If you have moved around within this country, have you ever encountered regional differences in nonverbal meaning?

Yes, it is true that nonverbal messgaes are more universal than verbal messages and yet, they do not always carry the same meanings in every culture. Examples I can give to support this are, when I was at Starbucks waiting in line to get a coffee there was this man from India standing behind me and he was standing very close to me. I was bothered, frustrated, and a bit nervous that he was standing so close to me, so I turned around and asked him if he would please move back a bit and he politely did. What happened was that I wasn't used to a stranger standing so close to me and invading my personal space. Our personal space rules were evidently very different.
Another example was when I was attending De Anza Community College and I was sitting in my Intercultural Communication class listening to a lecture from my speech teacher and then we each had to get in groups and discuss our cultural norms and traditions and there was a Japanese student who wouldn't make eye contact when he was addressing our teacher. He simply stated that in his culture it is out of respect that he doesn't look at people directly in the eye especially someone of authority like a teacher. I was thankful that he had shared that piece of information because in American culture we are taught that you are to look every individual in the eye to show respect.
Unfortunately, I have not moved around this country and do not have examples regional differences in nonverbal meaning.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 7: Chapter 5, Encoding Messages: Nonverbal Communication.

~Because nonverbal messages can be ambiguous, they are open to misinterpretation. Have you ever been wrong about the meaning of someone's nonverbal message? Describe what happened. How can people increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal messages.

Nonverbal messages are taught to us as we grow up from our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and the community that our family identifies with. With that said, each community of members will have a somewhat shared view of the meanings of nonverbal messages. Learning how to understand someone else's nonverbal messages can be in my opinion one of the most difficult things to do and causes many fights, judgments, and misunderstandings.
Yes, I have been wrong about the meaning of someone's nonverbal message and it was so frustrating when it happened, but we laugh about it today. I am from a big Italian family who greet each other with big hugs and kisses. When I met my fiance' I went to greet him and gave him a hug and proceeded to kiss him. He froze like a deer in a cars headlights and I felt like he didn't like me and for days I was left to interpret his nonverbal message. I did consider the fact that maybe he thought I was being too forward by kissing him and giving him such a big hug when I first met him, but I always fell back on the worst case senario of interpretations. I thought maybe he didn't like being hugged, I thought maybe he wasn't raised in a touchy kind of family. After a few days of agonizing assumptions I finally asked him if I had invaded his personal space, scared him, or if he just didn't like hugs. He laughed and said he didn't know how to interpret my nonverbal messages of hugging and kissing him and that he felt a bit nervous and uncomfortable. He also explained that he had talked to my cousin and found out that our Italian family greets everyone with hugs and kisses.
People can increase the accuracy with which they interpret nonverbal messages by being aware of different cultural practices, understanding that your cultural nonverbal behaviors aren't the way everyone expresses themselves, and by simply asking if their is confusion or misinterpretation.

Happy Blogging:)

Week 6: Chapter 3, Lisrening and Perception, Chapter 4, Encoding Messages: Spoken Language

~ Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

I particularly liked the concept of active listening in chapter 3 because even I am guilty of not always being an active listener and I am aware of how it makes me feel and by reading about the importance of active listening in chapter 3, I began to consider the dimensions of perception, interpretation, hurt, and confusion that a speaker and often myself may feel and I was able to give my own feelings an identity.
When I would talk to someone and they would not actively listen, it made me feel like I wasn't important, it hurt my feelings, and I felt taken advantage of because I would divulge personal, vulnerable, and/or intimate information and get almost no response. It feels horrible!
Reading about active listening reminds me to constantly do a check to make sure I am listening with all five senses, with my heart and soul, and most importantly that I am present and being active in the conversation.

Have a great weekend:)

Week 6: Chapter 3, Listening and Perception, Chapter 4, Encoding Messages: Spoken Language

~ Do you agree that men and women use language differently? In what areas?

Without a doubt, I agree that men and women use language differently. From the moment we are born we are socialized to be like a girl or a boy. This socialization includes the use of language and how it is different for girls and boys.
Girls are active listeners, nodding their heads, or giving a one word, Uh Huh, and facial expressions to give their speaker a sense that they are listening and hearing what is being said.
Girls are more focused on the connection between themselves and the speaker to build rapport and boys are more concerned with the facts and solving the problem.
Girls are relationally orientated talkers, whereas, boys are task orientated talkers.

In my own personal relationship, I try to be close with my finace by asking him about his day and really wanting to hear every little detail, however, there are times when I ask him how his day was just to ask and I really don't want to hear all the details. On the flip side my fiance does fall into most of the gender different communication categories, but not always. He does ask about my day and really wants to hear everything, he doesn't always try and fix the problem when I am talking to him, and he definitely shares his intimate private matters with me and it is not because I bring them up.
So, typically, yes, men and women do communicate and use language differently, but, it would be a stereotype to say that all men and women communicate the same way. I think we are changing the way we socialize our children and by becoming aware of our differences in any situation or relationship will change our communication and language use between genders.

Happy Blogging:)